The Great Father's Day Revolt of 2009

Yesterday in church the pastor wanted to acknowledge all the fathers in attendance. A reasonable desire since it was Father's Day. They gave all the fathers a Starbucks gift card. Nice. Then he said the saddest thing. "Let's face it, without fathers there wouldn't be any mothers. I know that the mothers have the hardest part and the most painful, but we fathers count, too!" The reason I find this sad is because it sounded so much like he was trying to justify the importance of fathers.

Let's take a look at this, shall we? If fathers are fulfilling their role as laid out in the Bible, they actually have the more difficult part. According to the Bible, fathers are responsible for physically protecting the family, teaching the boys to be men, protecting their daughter's virtue (an antiquated notion but so much more needed in this day and age), providing financially for the family, disciplining the children without exasperating them, love and care for the mother, and guide the family spiritually. It probably should be said that the last thing I listed, guide the family spiritually, is probably the hardest. According to God's hierarchy, wives and children answer to the husband/father but he answers directly to God. What an incredible responsibility! My husband has the burden (and yes it's a joyful burden but it is a burden) of discerning God's will for our family. He must be constantly vigilant to keep our family walking in the light and he is the one who will answer to God for the decisions he makes for us.

I am not belittling the role of mothers in any way. I am one! Being a wife and mother is what God designed me to be and once I stopped fighting Him by trying to live up to the world's expectations of me, it is the thing I take the most delight in. The problem is, the world has placed fathers in a position of almost disposibility. (Is that even a word?)

Fathers are not disposable. They are not there solely to provide the dna needed to make a baby. Their role in the family is not a matter of choice and it cannot be fulfilled by anyone else. Single parent homes are missing a vital component and it's a sad, sad statement that the world believes that it's just another acceptable lifestyle choice.

I am fully aware that there are men who choose to abandon their God-given role. They choose to not be a father in any sense other than having donated his dna. My husband and I both had "fathers" like that. However, it's time we started recognizing those fathers who do fulfill their role. The fathers who choose to follow God's plan and be all they are suppose to be for their families. Men like my husband who worked two, sometimes three, jobs to provide for his family so that I could fulfill my God-given role as keeper of the home. There are many men like this in our circle of friends. It's time we started reverencing them for the men they are!

I am beginning a revolt of sorts. I want to revolt against the notion of disposable fathers. I want to call attention to the high calling of fatherhood! I plan to contact all the women I know who have husbands like mine and we are going to make Father's Day 2009 the big deal it is supposed to be!

Maybe if we start teaching boys that this is how fathers are supposed to be, when they grow up they will take pride in their role and break the cycle of disposable fathers.